【Watch Lamas Online】

If you're looking for dirt in Zayn Malik's new book,Watch Lamas Online Zayn, proceed in another direction.

The former boy bander sticks to his script about the boys in One Direction, maintaining that he just wanted to make different music and dim the spotlight a little. He addresses his broken engagement with Little Mix's Perrie Edwards only to say that they were together, and then they weren't. He makes no reference to his romance with Gigi Hadid, despite being fairly public about their love.

Instead, he looks inward and hopes it will provide clarity to fans, documenting his anxiety, the "freefall" he went into after leaving One Direction and his devotion to his mom. He's never been one for interviews, so he uses the book to get a few things off his chest, making it a must-read for longtime Directioners.

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SEE ALSO: Zayn Malik is finally free to make his own mistakes on 'Mind of Mine'

Some early previews of the book seemed to present the eager bad boy persona he's put forth in recent press, but the book actually presents a much fuller picture of a sensitive, ambitious boy who found himself in a surreal situation.

Zayn, as promised, is a scrapbook featuring tons of personal photos and fashion spreads. You can find him in a series of cozy turtlenecks cuddling puppies and strumming acoustic guitars, or wearing a spiky leather jacket at a boxing ring. Throughout, his collages, crude illustrations and handwritten lyrics tie the whole thing together as he breaks down what it's like to be Zayn.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Here are some of the book's revelations of what's really going on in that mind of his.

1. Towards the end of One Direction, Zayn had an eating disorder

In November 2014, Zayn was struggling with an eating disorder, which he's since come to terms with. He chalks it up to exercising control in his life.

"It wasn't as though I I had any concerns about my weight or anything like that, I'd just go for days — sometimes two or three days straight — without eating anything at all."

Fortunately, he was able to get through it. After leaving the band, he found comfort in his mom's cooking as he returned to his English hometown of Bradford and plotted his next moves.

2. He decided to leave 1D on stage in Hong Kong

He'd been struggling in the band for awhile and was overwhelmed by the tabloid coverage of his troubled relationship, but there was a specific moment he made the call. After a show in Hong Kong, he spoke, to his cousin and mom to confirm that leaving the band was the right thing to do for his own health and the future of the other members.

"Sometimes, you have to do what's best for you, otherwise you're no use to anyone. Nothing good would have come from dragging it out any longer," writes Zayn.

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3. Zayn wants women to run his career (and the world)

He was psyched when his personal assistant from the One Direction days introduced him to a female management team who went on to guide his solo career. He's close to his mom and sisters and realizes he has a lot to gain from letting women tell him what to do.

"Women have been the most intelligent, peaceful and positive influences in my life," writes Zayn. "I don't want to generalize too much, but definitely in my experience, I've found the whole macho world of male aggression and insecurity to be a lot more difficult to exist in."

But take note fangirls, because he also wants to see you in leadership roles.

"I think we need more women in positions of power across the world. I think a lot of the world's problems could be solved if we allowed more contribution from women.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

4. His producers put him through bootcamp

Mike and Ant Hannides (MYKL) joined Zayn in a series of houses while recording Mind of Mine (they were kicked out of the first two for noise complaints) and stuck to a routine. The brothers put Zayn through a brutal workout every morning, worked on music during the day and then went clubbing as "homework" to see what everyone was listening to.

5. His songs are mostly about what you think they are

Zayn confirms that "Drunk" is about getting drunk. "'Pillowtalk' isn't just about sex; it's more layered than that. It's about the ups and downs of relationships." "Befour" is about throwing a party in a particularly nice Vegas suite. Skrillex may or may not have been in attendance, but a couch was definitely still soaked in champagne.

6. He collaborated with Versace on his Met Gala look

Zayn says he, "made a conscious decision in my solo career to take fashion more seriously." He's working on a collaboration with Versace right now and previously collaborated with the house on his sci-fi Met Gala look.

7. Zayn has an unreleased song called "Dragonfly"

It didn't fit on the album, but Zayn's open to releasing it sometime in the future. But, as he explains, he was inspired by the short lifespan of dragonflies and, "the concept of having to get everything done right now, in the moment, because's there's no time to waste." So that's a bit of a conundrum!

8. He's super into collaging

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9. Zayn loves Shania Twain

As he should.

10. Being in a band and going solo have their own unique anxiety triggers

He's always attributed the fact that his mom had to drag him out of the house on that fateful morning he auditioned for X Factor to typical teen boy laziness, but now he admits it was actually anxiety.

Being in One Direction helped his stage fright because the focus wasn't all on him. But performing as a solo artist is still an uphill battle. He almost had to cancel his Mind of Minealbum release show due to anxiety, but he pulled through. The anxiety has continued with every solo gig since then.

But the perk of being a solo artist is being able to control your level of exposure to an extent, and so he's found his way out of some of the stressors of his boy band days.

11. Race, religion, and politics are all really important to him, but he's freaked out about saying the wrong thing

Zayn knows too well that being a Muslim, Pakistani global pop superstar makes him an outlier. He had to learn to brush off the barrage of hate speech he's received consistently since he was a teenager. But he's not quite comfortable being an example of anything but himself at this point in his life and wants to keep that stuff personal. But Zayn remains proud of his heritage, which he pays tribute to in songs like the Urdu "Flower."

12. About that microphone with a condom on it

Malay, who Zayn wanted to work with on the album based off of his production on Frank Ocean's Nostalgia: Ultra, famously put a condom on a microphone while recording Mind of Mine.

Now, thank god, we have more details.

"There was a story going around about how he'd once slipped a condom over a microphone then dropped it into a bucket of water and waved it about," writes Zayn. "He recorded this series of of mad, watery, whooshing noises and used them to construct a crazy beat. It's insane — here's a dude who can make a slimy condom sound wicked!"

Topics Books Celebrities