【Dear Utol (2025): Catfish Episode 46】

If you bait him,Dear Utol (2025): Catfish Episode 46 he will come.

The Clinton campaign has been particularly adept at trolling Trump this election: gently mocking him on Twitter, baiting him at debates and jabbing him on Facebook live. President Obama, by contrast, has taken the higher ground: making personal, reflective speeches at packed rallies to help drum up enthusiasm for Clinton. And while Obama's inspiring turns of phrase create legendary memes, the president could stand to learn a lesson or two from the internet's snarkiest warriors: the trolls.

Sure, trolling has a bad rep. But there's a huge difference between trolling a candidate and harassing one. Trolling is an antagonistic technique used to inspire "lulz" and energize the base; harassment is specifically designed to cause injury to body and mind.

Here's what Obama can learn from the "do-gooder" trolls of the world:

1. Use language that makes him feel physically small.

Trump imploded when Clinton used the word puppet to describe his relationship to Putin in the final debate. The image it created -- that of a small, felt man (Trump) being manipulated by a larger one -- prompted Trump's total loss of control, in a debate where he had otherwise remained steady.

2. Don't call him Donald Trump -- call him Donald.

There is nothing Trump loves more than the sound of the word "Trump" rolling off his tongue. But reports have shown that Trump doesn't like the use of his first name, which appears to be why Clinton called him "Donald" throughout the debates, knocking him off his already shaky stool.

3. Make him sound like a privileged, unsuccessful businessman.

No one is more sensitive to being called out on their privilege than Donald Trump. The Clinton campaign executed this angle particularly well, both on Twitter and during the debates when she called the candidate out for the "small loan" he received from his father worth $14 million dollars.

4. High-five Mark Cuban

Love him or hate him, Cuban has been an enormously effective surrogate for Clinton both on TV and as a troll on Twitter. Whatever Obama can do to empower Mark Cuban -- even if it's high-fiving him in front of the cameras -- would probably do more to energize Clinton's base than any substantive discussion about policy (*sighs, cries, throws computer out window*).

5. Subtweet, Ahmed Mohamed style

Cool clock, Ahmed. Want to bring it to the White House? We should inspire more kids like you to like science. It's what makes America great.

— President Obama (@POTUS) September 16, 2015

Remember when Obama invited Ahmed Mohamed, the clock-making kid accused of being a terrorist, to the White House with a delightful subtweet on Twitter? Obama could similarly use the power of the bully pulpit/Tweetdeck to launch an effective troll against Donald Trump, who loves nothing more than a 3 a.m. Tweetstorm.

6. Simply say the name "Alicia Machado"

Trump seems to be triggered by nearly every mention of the beauty queen. While so many other scandals have simply rubbed off him, this one appears to have stuck, as evidenced by Machado's recent appearance on the campaign trail and Trump's infamous Twitter meltdown.

7. When Trump goes low, you go high (except when you sometimes go a little bit low)

One of the greatest refrains of this campaign has been Michelle Obama's infamous DNC line, "When they go low, we go high." The Obamas almost always go high, which makes the few moments when they dip their toe in the low (think: when Michelle tapped her microphone to make fun of Trump's "faulty mic" excuse ) so delightful and resonant.

8. Read him the early voting returns

Forget the polls, it's the early voting numbers that everyone's watching now. Trump will use almost any data he can scrounge up to boost his popularity -- but the returns are sometimes more accurate (and damaging) than the polls.

9. Repeat after me: "Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie O'Donnell."

Only the Lord knows why this 90s comedian continues to rattle Donald Trump, but her name has been a surprisingly effective trigger throughout this campaign.

10. Remind him that's he going to lose

Donald Trump may be one of the most unpopular candidates of our time, and Obama, our most popular. Trump may not care about the future of his country, but he is deeply concerned about his own Klout score. Troll Trump into thinking he's less popular than he actually is -- and he will be.

BONUS: The Obamas showed us how to Zombie Dance on Halloween