【death eroticism】

It’s that beautiful time of year when every big tech company launches a new lineup of products at the same time. Microsoftis no exception.

The death eroticismcompany unveiled a suite of new Surface products at an event on Wednesday. You probably won’t be surprised to hear that they mostly include Windows-based touchscreen-enabled devices. No need to fix what isn’t broken.

Here’s everything you need to know from Microsoft’s event.

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Surface Pro 9

The Surface Pro is back. Credit: Microsoft

First up is the Surface Pro 9. It’s hard to believe Microsoft has almost made 10 of its signature tablet hybrid devices, but time makes fools of us all. This year’s edition comes with a 13-inch display with a 2,880x1,920 resolution and an adaptive 120Hz refresh rate for all your smooth scrolling needs. 

On the processing side, you have a choice between a Surface Pro 9 with a 12th gen Intel Core processor (either i5 or i7) or a 5G-enabled version of the device that runs on Microsoft’s SQ3 processor, which is reportedly based on Qualcomm tech. The WiFi model comes with either 8GB, 16GB, or 32GB RAM, while the 5G version is locked to just 8GB or 32GB. 

SEE ALSO: Microsoft Surface Pro 8 is a strong 2-in-1 with too many hidden fees

Storage is also compromised on the 5G edition. While the regular Surface Pro 9 can come with a removable SSD of up to 1TB in size, the 5G version only goes up to 512GB. One area where the 5G version wins, however, is battery life. Microsoft rates the regular Surface Pro 9 for 15.5 hours of “typical device usage,” while the 5G tablet gets up to 19 hours.

Finally, there’s a difference in port selection between the two options as well. The regular Surface Pro 9 comes with a pair of USB-C ports with Thunderbolt 4 capabilities, while the 5G version’s two USB-C ports do not support Thunderbolt 4. However, as you’d expect, it doeshave a SIM port.

We don’t know pricing or availability yet, but it looks like the Surface Slim Pen 2 stylus and the Surface Pro keyboard accessories will notbe included in the box. Last year’s Surface Pro 8had the same problem, creating a bunch of hidden costs. Boo. 

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Surface Laptop 5

For fans of more conventional laptops. Credit: Microsoft

Microsoft also showed off its more conventional portable PC in the Surface Laptop 5. Like the Surface Pro 9, it’s got a touchscreen albeit with a lower 2,256x1,504 resolution, but the keyboard is built-in and not a separate accessory. It comes in two varieties: a more portable 13.5-inch model and a bigger 15-inch model.

There’s also much less confusion around processors and capabilities with the Surface Laptop 5. While there are consumer and enterprise versions, both come with 12th gen Intel Core processors. The 13.5-inch model can either run the i5 or i7 variants, while the 15-inch model is locked to i7. You can get 8GB, 16GB, or 32GB RAM and up to 1TB of removable storage on all models. 

Interestingly, the 13.5-inch model seems to have a slight advantage over the 15-inch model when it comes to battery life. Microsoft rates the little guy for up to 18 hours, while the big one is good for just 17. You’ll also get one USB-C port with Thunderbolt 4, one USB type-A port, and even a headphone jack.

Just like with Surface Pro 9, we’ll have to wait to hear pricing and availability.

Surface Studio 2+

Bend that sucker all the way down. Credit: Microsoft

The last of the big device reveals was one that was, well, bigger than the rest. The 28-inch Surface Studio 2+ is a desktop PC meant primarily for creative types who need huge amounts of processing power for making professional art, like complex 3D renders and whatnot. Like previous Surface Studios, the all-in-one device (meaning the monitor and PC are built into one another) rests on a hinge, so you can prop it up like a regular monitor, or lower it to work like more of an artist’s workstation. 

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The touch display has a staggering 4,500x3,000 resolution to go along with an 11th gen Intel Core i7 processor and, stunningly, an NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3060 laptop graphics card. This thing should theoretically be able to play games as well as it creates models for them. RAM is locked to 32GB and storage is locked to 1TB. 

Port selection here is also nice, with three USB-C Thunderbolt 4 ports making it compatible with up to three external 4K displays. There are also two USB type-A ports, a headphone jack, and a gigabit Ethernetport for hard-wiring your connection. 

SEE ALSO: 5 things to know before jumping into Windows 11

And all the rest

Accessibility for all. Credit: Microsoft

Those three Surface devices made up the bulk of the announcements, but there were a couple of other little odds and ends to note for consumers.

First up are Adaptive Accessories, which build on the success of the Xbox Adaptive Controllerto create PC accessories that can be used by a wide variety of people regardless of ability. These accessories, which include customizable mice and wireless buttons with programmable inputs, had already been previously announced. The news here is that they’re launching on Oct. 25.

And last but certainly not least is a new Microsoft 365 app called Microsoft Designer. This is a tool for graphic designers that is interestingly powered by AI, including the infamous DALL-E 2tool that people have been using to make freaky AI art for the last several months. Microsoft claims you can simply describe an idea you have and the app can create something you can use for your graphic design jobs. 

SEE ALSO: Microsoft's bakes DALL-E 2 into new app for Insta-worthy AI designs

And that brings us to the end of our Microsoft journey. Between three new Surface devices, some accessible accessories, and a truly weird-sounding graphic design app, there’s plenty to chew on here. Hopefully, you can find some time to check out all of it amidst the roughly 10,000 other hardware and software launches this fall.

Topics Microsoft