【Inglorious Bitches (2011)】

The Inglorious Bitches (2011)Skywalker saga may have ended, but the latest Star Wars film has raised more questions than it actually answered.

We enjoyed The Rise of Skywalker, but that doesn't mean we haven't been scratching our heads since Dec. 20 about one or two or 20 things that happened during the film. We don't have the answers (and may not like J.J. Abrams' versions), but let's at least talk ourselves through all the conundrums created by Star Wars: Episode IX.

Why doesn't Ben Solo talk?

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After Kylo Ren symbolically yeeted his lightsaber into the churning seas of Kef Bir, he was Ben, just Ben, and proceeded to say not another word for the rest of the movie (except "ow," which is a whole over conversation). Has the Dark Side taken his ability to speak? Or has he simply decided to shut up and listen for a change, noticing that bad things happen when he talks?

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Why didn't Finn just say he was Force-sensitive?

The Rise of Skywalkeris somehow simultaneously bloated and skeletal with its story, with this minor gripe sitting right on the border. Apparently, Finn's big secret for Rey on Kijimi was that he's Force-sensitive, which is cool but definitely could have been revealed at another, more opportune moment.

After their brush with death, why didn't Finn just say it? Isn't the galaxy's battle for good and evil a good time to share that you have extra powers, to perhaps train in the ways of the Force from the only people familiar with it? In the end, this information wasn't even part of the movie, likely because the filmmakers had nowhere to go with it.

Do you really expect us to believe Poe isn't in love with Finn?

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Star Wars may finally have had its blink-and-you'll-miss-it exclusively gay moment, but Finn and Poe's connection (do not insult us by calling it a "bromance") has been the beating heart at the center of this trilogy for four years, no matter who actually ended up kissing in The Rise of Skywalker. We spent a lot less time with these two this time around, but it didn't stop Poe from acting like a jealous baby when he thought Finn was going to tell Rey a secret and not declare his love to Poe. If that's not love, what is!!

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Why is Rose in this movie?

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We don't mean that in a bad way, like she shouldn't have been, but my god if you're going to bring back the Asian-American woman who got to be a lead in Star Wars, make her a freaking lead in Star Wars. Rose's scant screen time was an insult to Kelly Marie Tran and fans everywhere who had a stake in this character, all to have her sidelined so some white kids with famous names could kiss in a cave. The film didn't even pick up the threads of her romance with Finn, opting for the kind of this-never-happened dynamic one would adopt with a one-night stand. Rose deserves better!!

What is Poe and Zorii's history?

Poe and Zorii were a respite in a Star Wars film that was otherwise nowhere near acceptable standards of horny, but we want to know more! Were they colleagues, friends, or a goin'-steady space couple? Who betrayed whom and how, and was there makeup sex?

Luke and Leia were Force ghosts, but what exactly was Han?

This is probably one of those just-don't-think-about-it things, but it's the holidays and we have a lot of spare time.

If Leia saw Ben's death, why did she let him train to be a Jedi?

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Luke told Rey that Leia foresaw her son's death at the end of his Jedi training, but then why the heck did she send him off to said training? More than likely it was Uncle Luke Force-waving a little calm into the situation and promising not to let any harm come to the boy, which can't have helped with Luke's crippling guilt throughout The Last Jedi.

How did the Star Destroyer fleet even exist?

Did Palpatine conjure an entire fleet of ships, crew included? Were they just lurking on Exogol waiting for their moment, piloted by skeletons Dark Side ghosts or that gothic Sith choir who came out to watch Rey and Ben fight the erstwhile Emperor? And not to get super nitpicky (but also, let's), but why did Allegiant General Pryde call for the Final Order to use ion cannons specifically? Ion cannons disable, not destroy, and the blasts from the ships were the wrong color!

Can the Force resurrect the dead?

More than once in this film we watch the Force heal someone in need, and we can't help wondering about the mechanics of that. Is a Force transfer like a blood transfusion? Are you giving the other person literal time out of your own life to add to theirs? Can you re-up the dosage or reverse its effects?

Why did Rey bury Leia's saber on Tatooine?

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Obviously Rey couldn't bury the saber on Alderaan (R.I.P.), but Leia never lived on Tatooine! You could argue that the Skywalker name itself traces back there with Anakin, but that's a weirdly patriarchal twist when, once again, Leia never lived there. It may trigger fans' prequel feelings, but it would have been far more appropriate to bury both sabers on Naboo, the home of Luke and Leia's mother who never committed anygenocides, and the planet where she wanted to have them anyway had her husband not totally lost his shit.

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalkeris now in theaters.

Topics Star Wars