A man in Norway just topped all your Ikea desk assembly war stories for a lifetime.
Claus Jørstad,Jin Seo 45, wrote a lengthy complaint on the Ikea Norway Facebook page, detailing the harrowing tale of how he inadvertently caught his testicle in a small hole on the company's Marius chair.
SEE ALSO: Watching drunk Irish people struggle to assemble IKEA furniture is as fun as you'd expectJust in case you don't read Norwegian, according to The Daily Dot, Jørstad wrote that he placed the plastic chair inside his shower. While sitting and washing himself during a steamy cleanse, he noticed he accidentally got stuck.
"Sitting there and noticing the accident, I bent down to see what the f*ck happened, I realized the little nutter has got stuck," Jørstad wrote.
Apparently the hot water caused his nether regions (which he delightfully refers to as the "skipper and two boatmen") to expand.
"The water turned cold by itself. So I started freezing. The water got cold. Even more cold than my mother-in-law’s smile when I married her daughter," said Jørstad.
So, Jørstad's "boatmen" eventually returned to their normal size.
Ikea Norway responded on Facebook, "Hey Claus. We recommend that you take the stool out of the shower...if you choose to keep it in the shower, make sure you are well dressed for your next sea excursion."
The retailer also suggested taking the stool out of the shower and using it to hold a nice flower pot.
Jørstad decided to try out keeping a towel on the chair, aptly named the "weinermonkey," to prevent any mishaps in the future.
Jørstad now keeps the Marius stool elsewhere in the house. Instead of asking for a refund, Jørstad simply asked Ikea if the chair came in yellow.
View this post on Instagram
Volley defends ad deemed 'all about rooting' by conservativeIntel wants to use sensors and robots to overhaul inHow to download your Vines before it's too late to save themMove over Australia, the world's largest cricket stadium is being built in India'Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee' moves to Netflix with new Jerry Seinfeld dealSamsung may have 'leaked' its Galaxy S8, and boy does it look gorgeousActivists are throwing a massive LGBTQ dance party right outside Mike Pence's houseIntel wants to use sensors and robots to overhaul inTwitter will now loop all videos under 6.5 seconds after Vine closesFarmer comes up with legenInterracial couples are finally getting some emoji representationIndia can't stop talking about this startup CEO's passionate speech to employees'Sad Dogs Outside Shops' Facebook page is a mustTeenage Bollywood actor faces vicious social media abuse and no one knows whyAt least one version of the Samsung Galaxy S8 could have a massive 6Here's what the Xbox One's new Dashboard 'Guide' will look likeGoogle's first Android Wear 2.0 smartwatches are coming in FebruaryMarketplace app Letgo raises $175 million in quest to take on CraigslistThe science of the puke'Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee' moves to Netflix with new Jerry Seinfeld deal How to help victims of the Maui wildfires: where to donate Curb Your Enthusiasm 12 fun facts about space that will rock your world A Weekend Film Recommendation Olivia Rodrigo visits White House to encourage young people to get vaccinated 12 places to find the best free e The End of @everyword Wordle today: Here's the answer and hints for August 14 The Joys of Dancing What's new to streaming and theaters this week: 'Across the Spider 'Quordle' today: See each 'Quordle' answer and hints for August 13, 2023 The most heartwarming reunions and hugs post Score a $150 or $200 Amazon gift card with a new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip5 or Z Fold5 Happy Opium Suppression Movement Day! Recap of Canto 30 of Dante’s “Inferno” The Morning News Roundup for May 23, 2014 The Apple Watch is likely getting a major redesign in 2024 Three Degrees of Being Stood Up Coaching, Portuguese Style 'Quordle' today: See each 'Quordle' answer and hints for August 14, 2023